Give me a trigger and I’ll get bigger
Do you remember the last time you were triggered? How long did you cling to the false truth that it was all the other person's fault?
How many (re-)acts did you commit before you realised that you had done so from the wounded place?
Our Sunday breathe sessions often mine deep treasures. We come together as community , building our commitment to regular practice, and in doing so, every week we begin to observe changes, not only in our personal journeys but in our collective ones too. It’s funny how often a key theme will arise as if it’s already ‘out there in the field’ somewhere. Last Sunday what emerged was how we get triggered in our day to day lives, and how we can choose to enter that awareness as the witness rather than the victim.
It's when we are wounded that we are potentially at our most dangerous. Just like animals in the wild we don't like to be cornered, because in being cornered we can find ourselves delving into the ferocity of our shadow; we instinctively try to protect ourselves and watch out anyone who may be in our way!
Perhaps that's why they say the victim hurts, and hurts, and hurts...
When we look at the statistics for child abuse we know that 80 percent of abusers were abused themselves, but when can we classify as ‘child abuse’ and how does this cycle end? In some ways, as powerless dependent beings, many hurts are registered as ‘abusive’ and if they come from other people’s unhealed hurts, they are indeed that. When we find ourselves as adults returning (consciously or subconsciously) to the original moment of wounding, it may seem impossible to do anything else but lash out to protect ourselves, even though our inner intelligence knows that doing so will only escalate, perpetuate, create more of the same. Our inner child is crying out for protection and our inner adult is doing his or her best to do that, often in clumsy ways that simply repeat a defence mechanism rather than really go to the source to heal the wound.
What comes into awareness is that the time it takes for us to stop blaming an external force for our suffering, is the distance that exists between where we are, and resolution.
As long as we look outside to place blame or the hope for resolution, we deny the possibility of not just of finding that resolution, but also to truly become able to comfort the child within who lies damaged and unprotected.
Sure, we can continue to blame circumstance and outside influence for our problems and ills, but why give our power away so willingly? Isn't that what every conspiracy theorist is doing, unconsciously investing in his helplessness?
What if each of these incidents that trigger us give us a reason to go inside, investigate which part of our being has been wounded, and tend to that wound? It may be a challenge, but isn't it the only way to claim our power back, instead of offering it to others? Why relinquish our inner authority when we can lay claim to it by coming to know ourselves, recognise our triggers and heal them.
Next time we are aware that we have been ‘triggered’, what if we accept the invitation hidden in the trigger: What if we accept the invitation to get bigger by looking for the wounded part that has been awakened, and reminded of that soft spot within. She/he/they are suffering, and no amount of pills or coping techniques will obliterate this or make it go away for good. The only thing that works is to go in there ourselves, into a terrain that no one else knows like we do, and tend to the little one inside that has waited, sometimes for decades, for resolution.
We are the best solution for any suffering we feel, so why wait or delay?
We hope you can join us for our Sunday #breathetheworld webinars to continue with our collective voyage of discovery.
With love and a deep breath
Anthony and the A team